My New Reality

My life has taken a complete turn the last 48 hours. I was married for a little over 20 years. I have been married ever since I was 18. Still to this day my husband is the only one I have had sex with. My husband was the most dedicated and loving father and husband for 17 years until his first affair, which eventually ended up turning into a sex addiction and multiple affairs with all sorts of whores. Since then things have only gotten worse. Between his drug use and his Morbid Jealousy I had to make a run for it before he killed me.

I am now sitting here a single Mom with 3 children in a hotel room while my husband is in jail for domestic violence. I have nobody but my Mom in another state. My family that I married into has completely turned their back on me and my children when they know better. They were witness to his escalating mental behavior and violence towards me.

I remember the first time he admitted to doing Meth. It was October 29th, 2017. He had a Halloween Party the night before for the Motorcycle club he was in. That is the day everything took a turn for the worse when it came to our home life and the way he treated me and his kids.

I honestly held on too long as many survivors of domestic violence do. I kept waiting for my husband to become the man he was the first 17 years of our marriage. I am so saddened that it came to this. But the last straw was when he almost killed me while our 3 children witnessed some and heard most of the assaults.

Since November of 2017 we have been doing nothing but fighting. I hope one day he will recover and we can have at least a happy family unit. But for now it looks very hopeless as his family is only feeding his mental problems. It is a tremendously sad day for me.

I will be posting as much as I can because it is important to document what it is like as I journey through this for the first time as there has been many before me and there will be many after me.

8 responses to “My New Reality”

  1. Thank you. This means the world to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is going to take a miracle from him if he wants me back.


  3. Thank you. It has been rough.


  4. I’m so incredibly sorry for your pain. Praying for you as you seek to grieve, and heal.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So sorry Lauren Beth. I hope you are physically ok after that, it sounds horrifying, and I hope that you are getting some support from friends or that your mom has come to you. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m here, Lauren Beth. You stay as strong as you can manage. When you’re not able to. Vent here. Email me. Talk to someone you trust.

    You can do hard things. You’ve been doing them. It’s going to he even harder for a while. But you really have this. Huge bear hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I am so sorry that you’ve had to live through this. You can rest assured that you’ve done everything possible to save your marriage, but now is the time to focus on your children and yourself. Please stay safe and don’t be another statistic by going back! He isn’t the man you married. I believe in saving a marriage however, it takes two sane and rational people. You can never do it alone. He’s crossed THE line and it’s more than your mental health at risk. You are a strong woman. Remember that.

    Liked by 2 people

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